Don't Touch The Glasses!
by Red Witch
Summary: Zim learns the hard way that there's a reason nobody messes with Dib's glasses.


**The disclaimer telling you that I don't own any Invader Zim characters is off hiding in a bunker somewhere. MADNESS! THIS IS NOTHING BUT MADNESS! **

**Don't Touch The Glasses! **

Zim's latest plan to get rid of Dib happened like most of his other plans. By accident. Zim was in his human disguise in the skool cafeteria trying to figure out new ways to conquer the Earth when he saw something odd.

Dib had taken off his glasses for a second to clean them. He seemed to have trouble being sure he could clean them properly. Then it occurred to Zim that he had never seen Dib without his glasses.

"The Dib is squinting?" Zim blinked. "Why would Dib squint unless he has trouble seeing? Aha! A weakness!"

That's when the plan came to Zim. So at lunchtime Zim put his brilliant perfectly timed plan into action.

He snuck up behind Dib and grabbed his glasses from behind. "He! He! He!" Zim cackled. "Zim has done it!"

"My glasses! I can't see!" Dib fumbled around squinting, knocking over his juice drink onto his jacket. "Aw man!"

"His eyesight is even inferior to the other worm babies around here," Zim realized. "Now Zim is free to conquer the Earth! Muah ha ha ha!"

"Hey! My glasses!" Dib felt around. Zim quickly moved out of his range to the other side of the cafeteria. "Give me my glasses!"

"I don't know why I didn't think of this **before!**" Zim cackled. "Without this primitive ocular device the Dib is helpless!"

"Where are they?" Dib fumbled around nearly tripping over his own feet. "Where are my glasses?" He tripped over a chair loudly.

All of the sudden every child in the skool stopped in horror and looked at Dib. "DIB LOST HIS GLASSES!" A loud kid yelled.

"I didn't lose them! Someone **took** them!" Dib yelled as he blindly felt his way around.

"Are you kidding me?" A large kid screamed in terror. "Who would be stupid enough to do **that?**"

"ZIM! I KNOW YOU TOOK MY GLASSES!" Dib screamed. "GIVE THEM BACK!"

Everyone glared at Zim. "Give them back, Zim!" Gaz ordered. "If you know what's good for you, you'll **do** it!"

"What?" Zim whistled innocently as he hid the glasses behind him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Cut the crap Zim! I know you did it! Dib is real sensitive about his glasses," Gaz snarled. "Give them back now!"

"Do it Zim!" Another kid yelled. "You're the only one here stupid enough to do it!"

"Yeah nobody would steal Dib's glasses! Not after the **last time!"** Another kid yelled.

"GIVE THEM BACK ZIM!" Dib yelled as he accidentally walked into a wall. "OW!"

"Last time?" Dib blinked. "What happened the last time?"

"In second grade a bully named Jim took them," Gaz said in a menacing voice. "He's not **here** anymore."

"Where did he go?" Zim blinked.

"Someplace that's wheelchair accessible," Gaz told him.

"GIVE ME MY GLASSES!" Dib spun around wildly until you could only see a black and blue tornado. And the little tornado started to thrash wildly around the cafeteria, smashing into tables and chairs with such force they started to break.

"It's like crossing the Tasmanian Devil with Mister Magoo!" Gaz groaned.

"GIVE ME MY GLASSES **ZIM!**" Dib howled as he spun around wildly, smashing chairs and stuff along the way.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" A kid screamed. Children ran wildly in order to get out of Dib's way. Some were not so lucky. Kids were knocked into walls, thrown everywhere into broken chairs and tables.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" One kid spun around and around wildly. He was then whacked right into two more kids that tried to run away. "Owie…"

"GIVE ME BACK MY GLASSES!" Dib screamed as he spun around. "GLASSES! MY GLASSES! ZIM! MINE! MINE! AAAAGGGH! MY GLASSES!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! RUN!" The kids screamed and nearly trampled over Zim in order to get away.

Zim decided that running was a good idea too. He ran from the Dib Tornado, occasionally grabbing a stray child and throwing him or her into Dib's path. "GIVE BACK MY GLASSES ZIM!" Dib screamed, oblivious to the damage he was doing.

Miss Bitters loomed in the hallway. "**What **is going on here?" She hissed.

"Zim stole Dib's glasses!" A kid yelled.

"EVERYONE TO THE SHELTERS! NOW!" Miss Bitters yelled. She slithered to the nearest PA system. "CODE D! THIS IS A CODE D! PEOPLE! MAN YOUR STATIONS! MAN YOUR STATIONS!"

The children ran and screamed. Teachers pulled out SWAT battle gear from their closets and put them on, complete with large shields and batons. "CODE D! ALL TEACHERS MAN YOUR STATIONS!" Miss Bitters ordered.

"What's going on?" One new male teacher gasped as he stood next to an older one in SWAT gear.

"Calm down rookie!" The female older teacher growled. "The first time is always the hardest. Just stick with me and follow procedure and **maybe** you'll make it out of this alive!"

"MY GLASSES! MY GLASSES! ARRRRARRGGH!" Dib screamed as he whirled around, debris crashing everywhere.

"DUCK KID!" The older female teacher shouted.

"Huh?" The younger teacher blinked. Then was hit by a flying desk.

"**Told** him to duck," The older teacher grumbled. "Rookie!"

Zim was barely able to miss several thrown desks and chairs, although several students weren't. "I think I should have planned this a bit better!" He gulped.

He ran to a shelter only to have the door slammed in his face. "OW!" Zim ran into it. "Let Zim in! Zim orders you to let him in!" He pounded on the door.

"No way, loser!" Some kid shouted from the inside.

"This is all your fault anyway!" Another kid yelled. "**You **deal with it!"

"GLASSES! GLASSES!" The Dib Tornado whirled closer. "DIB WANTS HIS **GLASSES!**"

"AAAHHH!" Zim ran off before he got sucked in. Ironically as Dib whirled by the force of his tornado spinning yanked the door off the shelter. Children flew through the air screaming in terror.

"WHEEEE! THIS IS FUN!" Keef yelled cheerfully through the air.

Well most of them were screaming in terror.

"TRY TO BLOCK HIM IN!" The Teachers with shields tried to box Dib into one room. "I CAN'T HOLD ON! HE'S TOO STRONG! AAAGGGGHHHH!" The Teachers were flying about. "WE NEED REINFORCEMENTS! WE NEED REINFORCEMENTS!"

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A cow flew around with the teachers.

"DID SOMEONE LEAVE THE BACK DOOR OPEN AND LET A COW IN HERE **AGAIN?**" Someone yelled.

"WHO CARES? HELP US! SOMEBODY HELP US!" A Teacher screamed.

"There's nothing we can do!" Miss Bitters announced through a walkie talkie at a safe location. "It's all up to the girl now!"

Zim was running down the hallway when he was confronted by Gaz. "You!" Zim snapped.

"Give them **back**, Zim!" Gaz faced off with Zim.

"Never!" Zim crowed. "Zim will never give up the…" Zim didn't have time to finish because that was when Gaz pounced on him and tackled him to the ground.

"You (Pow!) Do (Pow!) **Not** (POW!) Take (POW!) Dib's Glasses..(POW! BAM!) **EVER!** (SMASH!)," Gaz shouted as she started to beat up Zim.

"GLASSES! WANT MY GLASSES!" Dib whirled around wildly. "GLASSES!"

"Nobody…(POW!) Messes (POW!) With **my brother**…(POW! POW BAM!) Except ME!" Gaz roared as she wailed on Zim.

"OW! STOP THE HURTING! STOP THE HURTING!" Zim cried out. "OKAY! ZIM SURRENDERS! TAKE THE GLASSES! TAKE THEM!"

Gaz grabbed the glasses then punched out Zim. "DIB! I'VE GOT YOUR GLASSES!"

Dib's spinning seemed to slow down. He slowed down until he ended up sitting on the floor, squinting and crying a little. "Gaz? Where are you? I can't see a thing!"

"It's okay Dib," Gaz said gently as she handed Dib his glasses. "I've got them."

"Thanks Gaz," Dib sniffed as he wiped away a tear and put them on.

"All better?" Gaz asked.

"Yeah, thanks Sis," Dib sniffed as he stood up. Then he looked around at all the destruction. "Uh oh…"

"Boy did you make a mess," Gaz remarked.

"Mooo…" The cow's behind was sticking out of a hole in the wall.

Some time later in what was left of the Principal's office…

"Needless to say I am very, very disappointed in **both** of you boys!" Principal Edgars said sternly to the two miscreants in their seats. "I'd give you detention if you hadn't trashed the detention room!"

"Sorry Principal Edgars," Dib looked said. "But it's all **Zim's** fault! He stole my glasses in the first place!"

Zim was all bandaged up and was in a wheelchair. "Uhggggghhhhhh…."

"Zim I tried calling your parents but no one seems to be home," Principal Edgars sighed. "Do you have anything to say for yourself young man?"

"Uggggffllffblleee…." Zim muttered something unintelligible.

"That's easy for **you** to say!" Dib glared at Zim. "You're not going to fall for his lies are you?"

"Dib, I think you **and** your sister need some anger management therapy," Principal Edgars sighed as something else broke. "Don't you agree Doctor Membrane? Doctor?"

Of course Membrane wasn't there. He sent his video conference phone in his place. "Where are my goggles?" Membrane was feeling around. "I know I put them here somewhere? Who has my goggles?"

"Doctor Membrane?" Principal Edgars had a sinking feeling where this was going.

"I WANT MY GOGGLES! GIVE ME MY GOGGLES! MEMBRANE WANTS HIS GOGGLES!" A black and white tornado was soon onscreen. "AAAAHH! GOGGLES! RARRARR! GRARRR! GOGGLES! MINE! GIVE BACK! RARR!"

CRASH! SMASH! MANGLE! WRECK!

"Oh boy…" Principal Edgars moaned. "I wonder if it's too late to change careers? I always wondered what it would be like to join the circus. It can't be any more dangerous than this job!"


End file.
